John's story
John was diagnosed with prostate cancer through a routine health check with his work in the military. He shares his story of how receiving free counselling through Penny Brohn UK helped him.
My family, home, and work life
I’ve got a big family of five. I’ve got three children. 2 girls and middle son. My oldest is 10, my middle son is 7, and my youngest is 3. I was working in Bristol when I had my diagnosis, so Penny Brohn UK was one of the charities I was signposted to through my cancer support worker.
I work in engineering for the Ministry of Defence, currently as one of the technical training electrical instructors at the Professional Engineering Wing, Royal Engineers, Chatham Kent. Here we deliver military engineering programmes to our technical students with the University of Greenwich. I do a mixture of office-based work and travel abroad as and when work requires.
It’s been challenging over the last 18 months, receiving treatment and managing work. The new me now is with lots of reasonable adjustments to the normal things in life including hobbies. I love playing tennis, I’m a very sporty person, and I love the outdoors. I’m looking forward to slowly getting back into playing sports and doing the things I love with family and friends.
My diagnosis and treatment
I was diagnosed through a routine military health check in 2023. I spoke with my consultant, had a couple of scans and a biopsy, which confirmed I had prostate cancer. It quickly turned into exploring the treatment options available to me. I had surgery and treatment, which was difficult because I’m always travelling with work and needed to be active. I had to go on long-term sick leave where I was assigned a specialist nurse due to the surgery procedure and recovery post-surgery.
It has been really challenging because our children are so young. Home life has never really been the same. There were so many things I could no longer do. My everyday energy levels changed, and I couldn’t do as much as I used to, especially with my kids. My partner and I both work full-time. I am a quiet person and not used to telling people about my personal life, so sharing the news with immediate family, colleagues and friends was hard and took a long time to do. It took me a while to start telling people and also to reach out for help. It wasn’t like I had symptoms or had been poorly beforehand. It was a complete shock and one that took time to accept.
It took me a long time to understand everything that was happening before reaching out to family and close friends. But we’re happier now, and we’re happy where we are. It’s taken me a long time to process everything, and I’m trying to manage it better now by focusing on recovery and adjusting to a new normal.
With the hospital side of things, it’s very scary because you feel like you’re just a patient in the system. It was difficult understanding the timelines, especially with myself who is in a technical job role in the military. It’s not like an injury where you can predict how long you’ll be out before getting back to normal day to day military business.
I didn’t ask many questions at the start, so when I was told I’d be in the NHS system for two to three years, it was a huge adjustment and one that took me by surprise. I didn’t understand how treatment was arranged or how I could manage it alongside work, whether I was abroad or in the UK. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t missing treatment or increasing the risk of the cancer returning.
When I first heard about Penny Brohn UK
I heard about Penny Brohn UK through my cancer support nurse. She told me about the support available in and around Bristol, as I was working at MOD Abbey Wood at the time. I was also introduced to the charity through Prospect Bristol, the men’s cancer support network for prostate cancer in Bristol.
I was fortunate to receive six one-to-one counselling sessions through Penny Brohn UK. I also joined most of the online sessions. Through Prospect Bristol, we also come up monthly to Penny Brohn UK for recreational days and meetings or just chat and a coffee to meet others on the cancer journey mainly prostate cancer.
The support from the charity has been amazing and first class. It has really kept me going through some tough times even up to date. They really helped me understand the process, focus on recovery and manage work alongside everything else. I’ve been back at work for nearly a year now. The support from Penny Brohn UK has helped me manage the wellbeing, mental health and physical challenges that come with living with cancer. It took me a while to accept that it wasn’t just going to go away overnight. It’s a long process and I need support around me.
In the first few months, I joined the online sessions and everyone was really welcoming. I felt like there were lots of people I could open to and have a chat with. It has been really helpful to ask questions because it wasn’t something I’d ever experienced before, and I didn’t have that support network around me. I’ve always been known as a very fit lad, and that was part of my identity. At first, it wasn’t easy speaking in front of people, but I quickly realised how welcoming everyone was. People were happy to listen and share their own experiences.
When I started my one-to-one counselling sessions with Megan, I realised even more how much support Penny Brohn UK offers. Having those sessions available, along with follow-up support, made a huge difference to me in my journey to recovery and beyond. I was also signposted to lots of other support resources. I couldn’t have asked for or anything better, and I’m very grateful for that with Penny Brohn UK.
The Centre has a lovely atmosphere. It’s somewhere you can come to, feel calm and get away from all the noise of everyday life. I’ve always enjoyed my visits and will continue to do so. I remember the first time I came to the Centre. From the moment you arrive and sign in, the welcome you receive from the team is amazing and welcoming. I was always hesitant to explain how I was feeling with everything but the support from the team always made everything much easier.
I found the counselling especially useful for managing stress, which is another challenge because of my work. Sometimes just having a cup of tea, walking around the gardens and talking to people going through a similar experience can mean a lot. It’s been incredibly rewarding for me. I am very grateful for that.
My biggest frustration was adapting to my new normal because I couldn’t make sense of what was happening. The charity helped me realise that it’s about taking each day as it comes. It’s about focusing on what you can control and accepting what you can’t. Its about building blocks a brick at a time.
"The support from the charity has been amazing and first class. It has really kept me going through some tough times even up to date"
For me, the mental health side was the biggest challenge. Penny Brohn UK has specialists who made it easier to navigate through everything no matter how challenging. Being able to speak to a specialist or have mental health conversations and support was one of the highlights of the support I received. In the first few months after my diagnosis, I wasn’t really engaging with my immediate family. It was a very difficult time. That reassurance helped me look at things differently and approach recovery in a much healthier way with Family and close friends.
My cancer experience would’ve been very different without Penny Brohn UK. There were so many adjustments. For example, when I travel abroad with my team for work, which means I now need a room to myself because of some of the medical and hygiene adjustments. Initially, I didn’t know how to bring that up in conversations and get support through my Chain of Command.
When I was on long-term sick leave, nobody really knew nor understood what I could or couldn’t do upon returning to do military work as a day job. Working with the specialists helped me realise there are ways to have those conversations. You don’t have to explain every personal detail, but you can still communicate what support you need.
I was being very hard on myself. I remember making excuses to colleagues about why I wasn’t joining social events. I’d say things like I couldn’t drink or couldn’t do certain activities. Instead of still going out and seeing people, I chose not to, which wasn’t healthy. With the help of Penny Brohn UK, I was able to break down those barriers and approach things differently. I don’t think I would’ve been able to process any of that on my own.
My hopes for the future
I’m hoping to slowly get back to a more normal way of life and be able to do the things I used to love to do. I still need to take things easy and I’d also like the opportunity to give something back and get more involved with the community. Being a key worker in uniform or the military, I think that’s especially important to reach out to others who may find themselves in my situation or going through similar diagnoses and treatments.
I’m in a much better place now than I was six or seven months ago.
I’m still receiving treatment and dealing with some side effects and mild symptoms. I’m hopeful that by the end of this year I’ll receive some positive news, and then I can continue rebuilding my life and adapting to whatever my new normal looks like.
I think it’s so important to share my story. It’s a reminder that we all need support in one form or another and that there is always someone out there willing to listen and support in a small way. Sometimes all it takes is a chat. You’re not alone. I quickly realised through my support network that there is so much life out there no matter what. Even when it felt like my world was crashing down, as I class myself as young and fit, I had to remind myself that I still have a long way to go and a lot of life left to live.
It’s about enjoying life and managing every day. That was one of the hardest things for me because, for a while, I found it difficult to do that. I didn’t share my story with many people at first and kept everything bottled up. But as I started opening up, I realised I felt happier, and that other people and could also learn from my experiences.
We’d like to thank each of our clients for sharing their experience. The words used in each case study are preferred by the client featured. Penny Brohn UK encourages everyone to use their own words to tell their story. If you have any questions about any of the language used, please email comms@pennybrohn.org.uk.