However, the mental impact is harder than the physical. Such a major drain on your partner and your family. I needed to find someone to talk to and was recommended Penny Brohn UK by a friend but also Macmillan in Bristol referred me to the charity.

I couldn’t believe the wonderful facilities and the garden – you can’t help but be moved by walking around the garden. I found it an oasis where I was able to be me. I was able to cry if I wanted to. I still come and walk or sit in the garden.

After three months, my wife and I came to a session at the centre and there was a wonderful lady doing some movement out on the lawn. She took a chair out for me to use because I was still weak. I’ll never forget what she said to me – it was a lightbulb moment. She told me to take my shoes and socks off – to stand up, feel the grass between my toes, feel the air on my skin and look at the sky above my head because that’s all we need. We don’t need anything else. And that was a beautiful moment for me. I’ve repeated that to lots of people and sometimes I still do it. Just go outside, nature’s everything.

I’ve met people through Penny Brohn UK at all stages of their illness. What I immediately noticed was a camaraderie. No pressure to be a certain way. We were all individuals. And everybody shared their stories. It was powerful. You didn’t feel alone.

I went to see a physio to help with my recovery. After six months or so she said to me you’ll never be the same again. I was absolutely devastated. But it’s one of the best things that was ever said to me. The harsh reality. Because I’m not the same. You have to find a new way – how to sleep, how you eat, sleep, drink, have sex, everything, everything is different. For me, I think I had both sides of it. On one hand embracing change was easy for me. And on another it was really hard. Because I’m a go getter, solution focused. I’m a driven person, I was impatient and grumpy which I’m sure made me intolerable to live with.

You want to embrace the new but you’re also mourning the old you. It’s a kind of grief. For what you’ve lost.

Two years later, the cancer came back in my adrenal gland.

I’d had my kidney removed and then they took out my adrenal gland. So that was another major operation because of the damage to the tummy. It wasn’t as dramatic but it was still difficult because it was in the same area and it’s tough. You’re almost back to square one with your recovery.

And, I found it worse than the first time even though it was a smaller operation. I think I found it even more difficult to manage. I needed all the tools I’d learned, relaxation, mindfulness, patience, small goals, talking to get out of my head.

And, it was Covid so I was locked in. That was almost unbearable. I actually thought I was going mad. I used some of the Penny Brohn UK sessions online but I got really frustrated and it was nobody’s fault. It was just me. I’m a team player and I missed that team thing. Being with others and chatting. It was like, man, I’m not going to meet anybody today. So I didn’t overuse it because I just wanted to get out.