My immediate reaction was that I wanted to make sure that my wife, and my mum and dad were okay. I was more worried about them than myself, really. It took me a while, I’d say probably a good two to three weeks, to really process what I’d been told. Work was great straight away and even though you’ve got so many people around you saying everything is going to be fine, don’t worry, I’m here for you, it oddly feels very lonely. You feel very different all of a sudden and I think it does depend on how you are mentally, but your mind just wanders and disappears and you may end up making up scenarios.  

It was all just a bit of a whirlwind. Two weeks after having my tonsils out, the biopsy had come back and it was cancerous. We knew at that stage that nothing was showing up as spreading, but they still wanted to err on the side of caution. 

I had a neck dissection to take out 26 lymph nodes, which came back negative. Next, I had 30 sessions of radiotherapy over six weeks and then I went down to the the GenesisCare centre in Chelmsford and they showed me all the aspects of their support – the gym, the dietitian, the speech therapist, and the Penny Brohn UK services – the reflexologist and the relaxation. There was a lot more than I thought there would be.  

Before I would have said that you just turned up, had chemo or radiotherapy and then went home. I didn’t know how personal it could be to be honest. At that point, I was signed off work so there wasn’t a lot to do, and in a weird way I actually looked forward to the days that I either had the gym, the relaxation or the reflexology as it was personalised and welcoming. 

My mentality through the whole thing was whatever I was told needed to be done, I was going to do it. There was no point delaying it, let’s just get on with it and do it as quickly as we can. Because you do feel a bit like a ticking time bomb. I think the downside of that is, since treatment is finished, I’d probably say I’ve actually struggled more mentally than I did at the start. I didn’t give myself a chance to process it, really, I don’t think. 

Once you finish the radiotherapy, the two or three weeks after finishing are the worst, so you’re really not feeling great, your body feels like you’ve just been hit by a bus. There is a lot to process now about the long term. The side effects are starting to creep in as well.” 

“Admittedly I hadn’t heard of Penny Brohn UK until I started my treatment over at GenesisCare in Chelmsford. I went down there, met them and was just told of things that were available to me. I met Sam who did my relaxation, and someone who offered reflexology too. I took both of those up. It was very much just what was available to me, I was going to take. 

What helped was a friend of mine, well, a friend of my wife, he had just finished his cancer treatment over there. So when I was speaking to him, because it was for a similar cancer as well, he actually said to me, ‘when you go over there, you get to see a dietitian, you do your gym work, but you also get to do reflexology and this relaxation.” 

“Sam was like a non-official counsellor. The first time I met Sam, I think I spent about 2 hours with her, just chatting in her office. The relaxation that she did for me and the tips she gave me, I still use now because it literally takes 15 minutes of your day, but it really does help. Also, the lady who did my reflexology, she had had breast cancer herself. So even though it was a different cancer, she was very relatable to just chat to her.  

Honestly, I loved the sessions. I used to genuinely look forward to them. Sam even helped me with getting food that was easier for me to eat.

Everyone at GenesisCare was amazing, but I do think it would have maybe felt like a bit of a conveyor belt of just turning up, laid on the bed for ten minutes, had my radiotherapy and then go back home  So I think it would have felt a bit like I was doing it by myself, in a way. Having the Penny Brohn UK elements made a bad experience nicer really.” 

“I’m in remission now, officially and I’ve been back at work six weeks on a phased return. I’ve put the weight back on that I lost during treatment and now it’s just learning to live with the long term side effects. I’m seeing my consultant every three months at the moment, so as soon as it gets towards that three month date, I do feel the anxiety build. It’s still a lot to get around mentally, but physically, I feel pretty good, to be honest with you. 

You don’t expect it to happen to you, but I think, in a weird way, it’s made me a healthier person. I’m certainly a lot better now with my diet, I’m a lot more active, and the first thing I did was stop smoking. I’m also getting checked every three months.  

I get days when I’m really proud of myself for getting through that, and then I’ll get other days (which is usually when a side effect will kick in more) that are hard. There are little reminders that it is still there: I still can’t eat certain foods, I’ve still got no saliva glands, things like that. It’s going to take a lot of getting used to – it’s a new normal. 

I want more people to be aware of Penny Brohn UK. I found the Eating with Cancer session really helpful and I looked through the YouTube videos on the website. They were great and I always recommend people check them out.”  

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